On Family

  My Dad got remarried this month.  My mom died two and half years ago, in December of 2009.  I'm okay with it, and that's not what this is about.  It just happens to be the impetus for my revelation.

  I have nothing in common with my family.

  Short of DNA, of course.  As I looked at and pondered the people around me, I realized that these are people I would never normally find myself among.  My family is very "blue collar".  Not a bad thing really.  I do believe a trade skill is much more valuable today than a college degree.  That being said, blue collar, I am not.  Not that I feel myself "above" those that are, just different.  My brothers are mechanics and HVAC guys.  They talk cars and trucks, and spend their money on the same.  They are the types that would never pick up a book to read for enjoyment.  They probably couldn't pass a history or geography test.  They judge a movies worth by it's boob and body count.
  I'm sure in their own ways they aren't stupid; I'm sure their jobs require intelligence.  Yet the things I value, the things I talk and live and spend my money on seem stupid and childish to them.  Dressing up in costumes, reading books, going to conventions and Renaissance Faires...kids stuff.  I'm not "grown up" and "adult" like them.
  In an analogy, my brothers are Mike Rowe narrating 'Dirty Jobs'.  I am Leondard Nemoy narrating a History Channel documentary (ya know...back when the History Channel USED to actually show such things)
  I've just never been close to my brothers.  I have my favorite, of course.  We have a few things we can relate to each other across to like each other.  Mostly football and our music choices.
  I'm not sad.
  I just don't relate.  Except of course for the fact we are "related."  Go figure.
 

Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is

  It's come to my attention that I've been a part of the Star Wars community and fandom for 17 years now.  Seventeen years.  1995 is when it all started back up for me.  I can still remember where I bought the entire first wave of figures.  Target, for under $5 a piece.  Ahh the good old days.  Not only has the price nearly doubled, but the Target store isn't even there anymore!  (132nd & Center for you locals)

  Over the course of those 17 years my love affair with the Galaxy Far, Far Away has had its ups and downs.  Like any relationship, its evolved over time, and like any marriage it's taken work at times. (Yes, I said marriage.  My wife knew when she married me she was, by extension, marrying George Lucas as well)  There have been many moments where I haven't been very happy with Star Wars, though those moments have come since the end of the prequels.  I've been angry.  I've been disappointed.  I've even at times felt betrayed.  But I've always loved Star Wars.  

  Over the past couple of years, it's been taking more work than usual, but that's probably more my fault than anything.  I've been resistant to some of the change happening in the Galaxy we all love; not happy with evolution of the franchise.  As such, my involvement has come and gone.  I've flowed in and out of the hobby the past couple of years.  I've always kept an eye on things, but not as closely as I used to.

  All of that changed Tuesday.

  Tuesday I got to see Star Wars through my son's eyes.  He's only 2 and for the past year he's had a vague understanding of Star Wars;  he can make the Vader breathing sound when asked "What does Darth Vader say?"  He loves R2-D2 and his lightsaber.  But this week, something clicked for him.  He was mesmerized by the Clone Wars (resigned sigh).  During the battle scenes he'd either have his lightsaber or blaster, depending upon what was being use on screen, helping the clones "fight bad guys".  He picked up his battle droid figure and came up to me with it and said "Roger, roger."  Completely out of the blue.  Troopers are the good guys now.  He can identify some the characters: R2 & 3-P0, Vader, Chewbacca, troopers.  

  However pick up his Han Solo figure and ask him "Who's this?"  "Daddy."

  Pick up Anakin and ask who he is...."Balin."

  To see him have all his Galactic Heroes figures out and playing Star Wars and including us as characters was very inspiring. It sort of re-opened my eyes to the magic that is that Galaxy Far, Far Away.  It also made me realize that after 17 years in the game, I have ways to make this so exciting for him, ways to make Star Wars come alive for him that maybe, to quote Anakin Skywalker, "Here's where the fun begins."  Maybe this is where I become Obi-Wan and start to be the teacher.

  

  In a moment of play, as he learns and makes connections and begins to grow, a 2 year old "redeemed" his father.  I gave him the gift of Star Wars a while ago, and he's now returned the favor.  He's given me that same gift.  He's given me Star Wars, and in a way only a child can.  It's magical and fresh and full of wonder; full of the Force, if you will.

  I gave my son Star Wars and he saved it for me.   

2012

Ahh, that new year time of year.  When everything's so fresh and new and you can start over.  Or whatever people tell themselves this time of year.  How your life January 1 is any different than it was December 31, I dont know, but I guess it's the potential for change that most people are enamored with for the first few weeks of January.

Myself included at times.  I look back at my posts from this time last year, and I was all full of "hope and change".  Yeah, turned out about as good as that last "hope and change" line we were fed a few years back.  

I was going to blog once a week, for a total of 52.  I managed 9.  Not even once a month, lol.  

I wanted to jump back into the costuming world.  Well, I'll call that one a draw.  I've taken a few steps forward, a few steps back (now I've got that damn Paula Abdul song running through my head!), but I think I'm  closer now than I was this time last year.

I wanted to breath life back into the Fan Force.  Well, I almost pulled that one off.  It was going good for a while there, but fizzled again.  I've come to the conclusion (it's only taken me 11 years to do so) that unless I take the lead, the OFF will never do anything on its own.  If I were to walk away from it, it would die.  That's more or less what's happened anyway, and I'm sad for it, but some kind of help once in a while would be nice.  I think Contagion was where I finally had that "aha!" moment that the OFF lived or died on my whim. When of all the FF members that attended the con, not one offered to help at the OFF booth that I had to man all weekend.  The only I help I got was from my friend who drove all the way from Topeka to come to the con.  While it was quite a sight to see ol' Captain Barbossa manning the OFF booth, it shouldn't have come to that.  Whats worse is there were some FF member who went that never once stopped by.  Yeah, I've been a bit bitter over that, and maybe that's why I've allowed it to wither again.  If/when there is a Contagion II, there wont be an OFF booth there.  

Didnt really "get the geek back".  There were bright spots, and dark times, but overall I'd say I'm still right where I was last year.  

I listed some things I "missed" and wanted to get back to doing in 2011.   Going on movie nights with my friends (meaning OFF movie nights.)  Yeah, didnt happen. 

Hitting the comic book shops.  Yeah, didnt happen again.

Living in the toy aisles.  Eh, call it a draw.  I still walk down them.  However, I still don't buy either, unless somethings on clearance.  (And I mean a REAL clearance, damn you Wal-Mart.  I'm on to your game of putting something on "clearance" at its regular price.  WTF)

Gaming.  This was perhaps the closest thing to a win I had last year.  We got a group together.  We played. We went on hiatus around the holidays, and to be honest, I'm not sure if it's going to come back together.  It'll be my fault of course, as I'm the one that suggested the holiday break, but I will miss it if it doesn't happen again.

Trooping/Costuming.  As above when costuming was mentioned, not so much.  Especially on the trooping end.  There's a vast over-abundance of drama involved in the wearing of plastic space man costumes, and it's a real buzz-kill.  It's hard to get excited playing dress up when you have to wonder who's toes are going to be allegedly stepped on, or who's going to feel left out, or who thinks they need to be in charge and are going to throw a hissy fit, each time you do it.  I would love for all of us to show up, have a great time, be friends and hang out and rock what we do, but there are just way too many egos and personal agenda's  involved for things to go smoothly. 

So yeah, I guess I'm a glass half-empty kinda guy.  Or more specifically, borrowing from my wife, if my glass is half empty its because someone's been messing with my glass!  I want names.  There will be consequences!  (And now I hear Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon, sigh)  I'm more Sith than Jedi. More Barbossa than Jack.  But you all already knew that!  

However, every once in a while, I find that ray of sunshine.  That glimmer of optimism and hope.  It's then, in that light, that I can finally see well enough to get that last piece in place on my great doom machine! Muwhahahahaha!  

Ok, ok.  Sorry.  Had to.  

It's this time of year when I too, yes even I, the Prince of Insufficient Light, can for a moment look upon the "new" year, the reset calendar of the coming year, and consider change.    And in that moment of weakness, blinded by the light of the "new year" I have come up with a few new, but mostly (very) recycled, goals for 2012.  That, however, will be my next blog.  Or not. 

Lucky

I think I’m going to Celebration VI.

Things seem to be falling into place to make it happen, so I’ve decided to go with the flow…not that I haven’t given it a helpful nudge now and then, heh. 

I owe the biggest thanks, though, to my wife.  This may sound weird, but she truly is the biggest reason I’m going.  I owe it all to her.

You see, she gets me.  She tolerates my severe Gemini syndrome; even encourages me at times.  She allows me to be me.

I’ve seen a lot of others posting on boards about how they are going to be starting families soon, so this will be their “last” Celebration.  I don’t know if it’s a financial consideration, or a time consideration, but if that’s the way it works, I should never have gone to CV.  Yet there was Heather, telling me, enabling me, to go.   If that’s the way it works, then I shouldn’t be considering going to CVI.  Yet there is Heather, enabling me, telling me, to go.  I could say “allowing me”, but that isn’t correct.  It speaks of a level of control that we don’t let ourselves wield over one another.  Its part of accepting the other person for who they are.

And this is me.  And she knows it, accepts it, and embraces it. 

If there was one thing that I learned from the birth of my daughter, its that while its ok to allow your children to become the center of your world, you cannot forget who you are.  If you allow yourself to disappear you become lost, and that can be a tough road to walk.  We work hard to allow ourselves to be who we are.  To let Balin and Dallas be the light in our world, but to continue to shine on our own as well.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is I realize how lucky I am, and that I try hard not to take her for granted.  I’m married to a pretty special person.  Especially if she lets me run off to Florida for a week for a Star Wars convention. 

So yep, I’m a lucky guy!  Married to the best-est girl in the world.  So now what am I going to do? 

I’m gonna go to Disney World!

Ok, I’m not going to Disney World, but its real close by.  Does that count? 

So much for 52

Like I said, New Years Resolutions rarely carry through, and of course the whole 52 blogs in the year/a blog a week, is WAY out the window at this point.  Oh well, I'll live.

So lets see....last time we talked (it was April, remember) I was building Gonk (done) for Contagion (over) and was going to start on my own R2 (no progress).

So, whats gone on in-between then, well let me explain.
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No, there is too much.  Let me sum up.  Celebration VI was announced, gonna go, got reservations in Orlando.  Am the new Squad Leader for the Imperial 80th Sqaud of the 501st here in Nebraska.  Got my ESB Han Solo approved in the Rebel Legion.  Started playing RPG again.  Sold a bunch of non-SW costumes.  I think that covers things fairly well.

So I'm gonna try to keep this more up-to-date. (I know, I know, you've heard that before....)  I've got a few more blog ideas kicking around....an update on my costume goals and such.  This was just getting my feet wet again, so to speak.

(7) Crazy little thing called fandom...

It's like a virus really.  Once you get hooked, try as you might, you cant shake it.  It keeps coming back to bite you old and new ways.  So now, on top of the handful of costume projects I have on the table (and really need to actually work on), I've added 2 NEW projects.

One, I've wanted to do for several years now, and decided I either needed to do it or forget it.  So I jumped in with both feet.  What, you may ask, is this?  Building a droid.  My own personal R2 unit. Several of my friends here are droid builders, so it was probably just a matter of time, but they've been helpful in getting me started.  I've already got some stuff ordered, so maybe sometime next summer, I'll have me own R2 to wheel around!

The other project is a droid as well, however it's more of a static prop than a droid.  A Gonk droid.  From  what research I've done, it's a pretty simple build.  It can be complex if you desire it to be, but for the most part, it's really easy looking.  So I've got the tubs that will make up the body of the Gonk, and the 2 for the feet.  I've already got the tubing for the legs, so it's really just a matter of putting it together, making in the internal legs so it'll stand, and then paint and greeblies.  I'd like to get it done by Contagion so it can sit at the Omaha Fan Force table.  Of course, that means I'll have to get off here to work on it!  So, ta ta for now!

(6) So many projects, so little time.

Back from my first con since Celebration V in August.

Had a blast.  Bought a blaster.  I really wish I had had a) the whole weekend and b) more money to throw around, but alas.  However, I did come away with what I think is THE  deal of the con.  A Hyperfirm Lewis Gun, aka a BFG (Big F**kin' Gun).  One of the preferred weapons of the Imperial Sandtroopers.

Now, the super steal deal part.  Price?  $50.  Thats right, only $50.  This is a special made replica, constructed of a rubber/foam mix that creates a very sturdy, yet resilient prop.  Very detailed, able to take a beating...these are the cream of the crop in replica weapons.  Usual price point:  $450!  Yeah!  The guy clearly didnt know what he had, as he told me it was a "movie prop gun."  He didnt even know the type of stormtrooper that carried the weapon.   I didnt know it was a HyperFirm myself until the next day when I got to doing some research on the gun.  How a $450 prop replica wound up in a small booth at Planet Comicon in Kansas City for $50, well I really dont want to know.  I'm just glad I'm the guy who found it!

So on that note, let me bring you up to speed on my various projects.  As you can tell from the above story, the Sandtrooper is well underway.  I've got the armor, and have started trimming some of the different pieces.   I've started to track down some of the backpack parts, and have the pouches I need scouted out.  With the BFG acquisition, I'm well on my way!

Han Solo is on the sewing table.  Heather is working on the patterns and is starting to make mock-ups.  I've got all but one piece of the blaster in house now, and once that arrives, I can start construction.  The embroidered stripes for the pants are here and are waiting with the fabric for Heather to be happy with the mock-ups and begin actual assembly.  The only real thing I'm waiting on besides that is the gunbelt to be finished and delivered and to decide on what to do for boots.  Beyond that, everything is here waiting...droid caller, belt tools, etc.  Oh, and hair.  I was going to try to grow my hair out a bit, not to 80's standards, lol, but long enough.  Cant do it.  I hate having anything much longer than a grown out buzz.  So I'll have to wig it, and I guess that still needs to be done.

Not much work has been done on the Super Secret Costume Project.  I do have one major component, but beyond that, most of what I've been doing lately is getting the Sandtrooper and Han Solo ready to go.  I'd like to have those done and troopable while I work on the SSCP.  Not to say research isnt going on, but purchasing goods and actual work has yet to begin.

Finally, I've been told I need to add another costume to my project list, as if I dont have enough in the backlog already.   Jack Sparrow.  Now, I'm not complaining.  I've wanted to do a Sparrow for years, and was only letting that body image thing hold me back.  It's just in the planning stages, and I think the actual cost of doing it right was a shock to Heather, but she's serious and committed, so I'm all for it.  This will probably run concurrent with the SSCP, or maybe just behind, but I'm excited about it and am looking forward to it!

All the other projects, Indy, ghostbuster, etc, have pretty much been relegated to the back burner.  I did decide to scrap what I had so far for Indy, save for the hat and whip (even though thats not the greatest and isnt immue to replacement) and start over.  I've found much more better replacements for what I had, so I gave those items to my daughter, who actually wore it to the con this past weekend as a female Indy.  

I've got a lot my plate, but it's good to be back, and it keeps me busy!